I'd originally intended this post to be a detailed bio of Jack, but the more I think about it, the more I think that isn't really what I want to do. His history's interesting enough, and I'm always intrigued to explore how it's molded him as a person. However, I find myself wondering during a lot of the quiet times these days, who is he to me? Why is it so hard for me to play him the way he should be? So, I'm going to explore that here. WARNING: This will likely ramble and make no sense.
Right off the bat, I'll admit that he is a bit of a 'Mary Sue'. Not entirely, but enough. Jack isn't who I want to be. He used to be, but I've come to think that he represents the best person I think I'm capable of being. He's not perfect. He's got a number of flaws, and where a true Mary Sue's flaws are minor and only serve to highlight their awesomeness, Jack's are flaws that aren't 'cool'. He's bossy. He's stubborn. He sometimes thinks a little too highly of his own power. He can be rude and callous sometimes. He's grim, and his rare bouts of humor are more of the smirking, smartass variety.
However, I'll own up to some of his more Mary Sue-like traits. He's highly intelligent, and speaks multiple languages. He's a passable martial artist in great physical condition, and has a power that isn't always all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes, yes, he'll angst about it. He's a technical whiz, and has hacked, cracked, and tracked with the best. He drinks, but never really gets drunk. He's got 'cool' scars, but none on his handsome, chiseled face. He knows his guns, but of course, would never use them to kill. He wears sunglasses a lot. :)
Now, he's set in a superhero-themed MMO, so there's a bit more leniency for these kind of things, but I still feel it's important for me to keep an eye on him. His Mary Sue tendencies were utterly -dwarfed- as long as he stood next to Raina, but now that he's more or less solo, they're a bit more visible. It's very important to me that he be believable as a character. Well, as believable as anyone could be with his powers and background. :) He doesn't have to be liked, he just has to be feasible.
Jack does have his shining qualities, though. He's determined. He thinks before he acts, and would rather reason with someone than kick their ass. He cares for his friends (even if he doesn't show it well) and will protect them to the best of his ability. However, his best qualities IMO, are things that are a major 'button' for me as a person. He knows he's flawed. He can admit when he's wrong. He doesn't expect perfection, from himself or anyone else. He strives to do his best, but he doesn’t agonize over his failures, unless someone else gets hurt.
As I said earlier, I think Jack represents to me the kind of person I might one day be capable of being. So why is he so hard to RP? Well, Jack’s confident....and I’m not. He takes the lead if no one else will. I’ve never been a leader-type. He never gives up. I throw in the towel a lot. One big thing we do share is our hunger for empathy and understanding. Neither of us get much of that. IMO, that’s the biggest reason him and Raina divorced. Raina wouldn’t (or couldn’t) see past herself, or put herself in Jack’s shoes to understand how he was affected by the things she did. And her player couldn’t put herself in my shoes to understand why the relationship stopped being fun to RP.
But that’s a whole other post, and maybe I’ll never write it. At this point, they’ve been parted longer than they’d been together. I still have some resentment, and I’m sad that it had to end the way it did, but dwelling on it won’t change anything. That being said, I probably will vent from time to time. Hey, it’s my blog, so I’m allowed.
Back to Jack....there’s still a lot of life left in him. He’s a good character, for all his flaws. At the end of the day, if you take away his powers, he’s just a man like any other. He’s not infallible, which I think makes him more interesting and appealing to me. To me, his strength is in his humanity, and his belief that humanity’s something to be celebrated. I don’t know where he’s headed, he hasn’t told me yet. But I’m willing to ride along and find out.
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